u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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