after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
