I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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