I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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