No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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