I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
