You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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