I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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