Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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