$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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