uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
