yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
