Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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