Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
