Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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