Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
