Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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