Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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