Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it's like heaven, but drunker
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
