I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
