She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
