I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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