At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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