Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This is the high leading the old right now
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
