is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
