If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The adults are the big ones right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
