I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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