i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize