I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
