oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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