this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
