You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
