I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
