So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
