let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How does it feel to date your dad?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
