i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
So much rum. So many feels.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
