someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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