only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Your cock deserves a montage
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
