proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
