Life is so much better after having sex.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
