It's like God shit irony all over that family
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
