got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize