So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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