I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
