the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
