My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
