I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
