If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
