So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
