No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I love having hate sex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
