I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize