News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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