We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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