it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
