It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
