It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
