Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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