You're completely useless in the revolution.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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