Well apparently he's into motor boating.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well you can't waste a boner
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
