Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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