I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
