I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
