We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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