I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
